Stuff* That Makes Liberator Mag Feel Ambivalent.

© Danielle-'I Made This In like 5 minutes and didn't resort to the most bland-ass VANILLA MICROSTOCK PHOTOGRAPHY PULLED OFF ALTAVISTA!-Scruggs "

All these love and hate sites that have been popping up lately (Stuff White People Like, Stuff Educated Black People Like, Stuff Black People Hate, Stuff Cambodian Immigrants Think Is Shullbit Because They Really Went Through It) is starting to make my head spin, mainly because of the mediocrity and mediocrity, like piss-poor grammar, makes my teeth hurt. Note: One those websites doesn’t really exist but probably should and one of them actually is pretty funny. See if you can figure it out.

So I propose that ANYONE who comes to the Liberator blog, doesn’t matter if you’re white, brown or kind of like Barack Obama (“I’m Black and Proud…but not in that *scary way*!” Ha. I kid. Kind of.), just post one thing you’re ambivalent about.

It can be ANYTHING.

Because frankly, from reading the comments sections on the 52,000 posts achali posts here per hour (seriously, I haven’t seen him with my own eyes in nearly 2 years. He must have been replaced by like, a Ceylon, or something because how is he able to post that much every.single.day?) I KNOW we can do better.
I’ll even start it off:

Muva-effers telling me to smile when they see on me the street. I used to to hate it but now that I understand the male perspective on this thanks to this post over at Me, Myself An Eye, I’m thinking I might have to think twice before giving people the side-eye.

But it used to irritate me because it’s like, dude, I’m not purposefully frowning or looking neutral as a personal affront to you, I just have some things on my mind. And sometimes you need to be slightly melancholy sometimes. Actually, I recently learned from a Chinese classmate of mine

(like, straight-up from China, back in September he was so excited to film an anti-war protest in D.C. because he had never participated in one before. That’s deep and puts things in a whole new perspective. Oh and he was feeling the image for that Mumia post Media Whores. He was all, “we can use that to advertise for our show!” )

that there’s a Mandarin phrase for that feeling you have when you’re not really happy but not really sad either just…somewhere right at those cross streets: tian dan. Like how I feel when I walk around without an umbrella when it’s drizzling.

I also learned that the Mandarin language doesn’t really have a past tense or a future tense, it’s all present tense. And you learn it by having to pay insanely close attention to the slightest change in inflection in tone and facial expression because sometimes nouns are also verbs. He gave me this examples.

In Mandarin, the same character is used for the noun-a king and an action: to make someone a king and you have to pay very close attention to someone’s tone of voice and facial expressions and gestures which is why my classmate is so…explosive when you talks. He kicks, he jumps, he chops at the air with his hands. I’m also sure that’s because he’s a little crazy too but it’s a cultural thing.

So, I guess it would be like if king in English also meant coronation and the only way you know what someone was talking about is if you keep your eyes on that person the entire time, and you pay attention to their inflections. I guess that’s why there seems to be so many words for feelings that are kind of hard to disambiguate in that language. In English you have to resort to extended metaphors and similies and pray someone’s on the same page as you.

So anyways, when you’re at that intersection, when you’re feeling tian dan, it’s hard to automatically give someone the cheesy Kool-Aid grin even if you think the guy saying “Ay, girl why don’t you smile?” is cute/sweet/very nice.

And on the other OTHER hand, I have noticed this week that smiling more has led to some amazing conversations and perspectives on Baltimore I never would have had if I hadn’t smiled and made someone comfortable enough to tell me what they did.

Now it’s your turn.

Because seriously, if the people at Sprite think they can pull what they pulled and people will just throw their hands up in despair instead of come gunning for them they need to just give up now and do what?

HOS SIT DOWN! Stop steppin' on my shoes! It's go time!

*And seriously, like the best title yall mark-ass MARKS could come up was STUFF (blahblah) LIKE. Like think about that for a minute. Like, PICK UP A THESAURUS and spend more than the second it takes to tab between, like, your porn; and TMZ.com to come up with a title for the bundle of what illustrates the very definition of lack and take your BROKE ASS HOME. I mean damn at least say appreciate instead of like. UGH!

Wait, that's the problem, you haven't left home since 1994, because all the posts that are supposed to be parody and biting satire is like, the headlines that would get your whole life TREATED in an Onion editorial meeting and even Ben Karlin is like, ho, I've been there done that and I've written and published the almost-finshed novel you fools over at S-PUNKBIATCHES-LIKE have supposedly "polishing" for the past ten YEARS.

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