This is a guest blog post from Stacie Bethune. She is a potential new blogger for The Liberator. If you enjoy her post please leave a comment.
"He's not that into you" by Stacie Bethune: I was recently dragged to go see the movie, well ok so I wasn’t dragged I went willingly, sort of. I don’t have the patience to sit and read the book but I felt I could get the gist of the book from watching the movie. Just like in school, when you didn’t want to read the book, you would just watch the movie. While the movie didn’t give me any useful relationship lessons, there were a few that some women would buy into and even believe to be true.
A few of these include:
women are to blame for being single,
if a man cheats it’s our fault,
oh and if you want a guy to like you just ignore him or treat him badly and then he’ll want to marry you.
I couldn’t really discuss this with my friend because not only does she have the book but she has numerous books and relationship bibles that tell her what to do in her relationships. I can’t say they’ve worked for her because she’s still single. Well anyway, let’s get back to the movie, the movie follows five women and four guys (who are all subsequently intertwined with each other—who knew Baltimore was so small).
The first gal you meet is a single gal whose on a mediocre date with a guy but she makes herself believe that there’s a connection. Personally, there are like 50 million things I can sum up about the guy that are wrong. He’s short, he’s arrogant, he’s boring and the list can go on and on. So this girl is supposed to be the prototype for all single women on how neurotic we act, oh and according to the movie, women have no life so we sit around watching the phone waiting for a guy to call us and our happiness depends on a date or a potential love interest. The movie also follows a married couple- the husband clearly doesn’t want to be married but still married his wife because she gave him an ultimatum—marry me or we break up. I mean whose fault is that, is it really hers?
I think not, if you don’t want to be married just don’t get married, it’s quite simple. Then the wife is super crazy so I guess that’s why he cheats-- it’s all her fault, (sarcasm). It’s funny how women get the blame for men’s wrong doings. Next, we have the couple who have been together for seven years, living together and practically married but he doesn’t want to make it official. So it takes her having to leave him in order to make him realize he wants to get married. I mean is this real, should a woman really need to give an ultimatum for a guy to walk her down the aisle? Then there’s the slutty sexy female character (isn’t it funny, how all movies have one of these but not the single, educated woman who doesn’t need a guy to give her anything—it’s easy to see how Hollywood views females) who the married guy cheats with and she has this delusion that she can get the guy to leave his wife for her, if she gets him to fall deeply madly in love with her.
On the other hand she has a guy who she uses for emotional support, whenever she feels down or not so good about herself she calls him up, um, sound familiar? Oh and she fails miserably at her plan, because she is the rule and not the exception and this only happens for the exception, ( rolls eyes). We’ll talk about this theory a little later. Then there’s this desperado character-- she’s worse than the single gal character we met earlier because she goes on Myspace and Facebook to meet men, and when she finally meets a guy (that she didn’t meet through the Internet) she closes the accounts, awww love ( sarcasm again).
To sum it all up, what I got from the movie is that us women are single because
1. We are desperate.
2. We have no lives.
3. We want to be in love (Yah, like who wants that?).
4. We are crazy.
5. We want commitment. and
6. Black women don’t date.
I also got that if anything good happens to us it’s because we are the exception, I mean so what is the rule, to be single? Not sure about that one, I may need to actually get the book on CD, because I refuse to walk around with that book. I mean dating in DC, is hard but I won’t be caught dead with a relationship self-help book.